are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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