How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
