she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
