Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
