There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
