I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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