Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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