people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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