Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
