Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How external is "for external use only"?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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