Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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