I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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