If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
