If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
