Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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