Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
