Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
