No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
