When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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