So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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