Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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