dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
