he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
