people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
When are your genitals available?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
