So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
