You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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