I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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