The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
