to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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