Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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