Sry I called you an 8
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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