4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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