my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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