white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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