obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
