is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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