I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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