Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
And then he peed in my hair
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