He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
