Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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