I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
