i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
