I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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