awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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