I want to make a zoo with you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm at about main and main street
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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