somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
