They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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