I wanna bring you to show and tell
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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