Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
