you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
