i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
