your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
